In my former life, a decade and a half or so ago, I was an Executive Vice President, sitting on the Board of Directors for an international insurance company. I enjoyed a high six figure income, lived in one of Toronto’s more affluent neighbourhoods, drove six figure cars, ate at the finest restaurants - both here and around the world - and was the primary candidate for taking over leadership of the company.
So how does one go from such a lofty height in the economic world, to becoming a Transformation Coach you ask? And why would anyone do such a thing?LOL The first thing you need to understand is - it wasn’t really a choice, not for me anyway. You see, when I finally stepped down from my position, the damage to my body, mind and soul had already been done. After years of becoming the big, bad, businessman, always pushing and taking no prisoners - my higher self pushed back. It pushed back hard. I’d been suffering from joint pain for years, though simply pushed it off as weightlifting pain (weightlifting was my primary exercise for more than a decade and a half. I was lifting large weight.)
It was a less than optimal test reading from a life insurance application that finally drove me to the doctor, where I proceeded to explain the continual pain I felt in my joints, including swelling. And as they say, it all went downhill from there.
The diagnosis was Rheumatoid Arthritis. Let the drugs begin…
They started me on Prednisone, which I took for four years with the doctor adding additional drugs to work with it. A common side effect of long-term use of Prednisone is Type 2 Diabetes, which showed up around the four year mark. As this treatment did not prove effective, we moved to an injectable, along with new diabetes medicine, as well as high blood pressure medicine, etc… This continued on for years, going through every possible drug combination with nothing coming close to relieving the constant pain. By the six year mark or so, I was called into the doctor's office for a discussion.
The doctor turned his screen around to face me, showing me a line graph of my health decline over the last six or so years since he’d been treating me. I’m no doctor, though as a fairly successful business man I could see the graph was definitely going in the wrong direction. Being told to get my affairs in order came as quite a wake-up - to say the least. I was given the year.
What to do?
On my drive home from the doctors office, I ran the meeting through my mind wondering what my chances might be. Out of options from the medical system, if I was going to get through this it was up to me.
My mind has always been my most powerful asset, so I figured if I was going to make it - it was my mind that would carry me through. I remembered seeing some videos of Budist Monks doing some unbelievable things with meditation, such as melting the snow around their seated bodies by regulating their internal temperatures, so I decided to try meditation once again. I’d tried a handful of times before, though never lasted more than five minutes or so - though this time I had life itself as motivation.
The key to meditation is surrendering control, which is why so many of us struggle with it. In the half-dozen or more times I’d tried before, I was unable to surrender - however, with this new motivation I let go completely, and on the very first sitting. What came next is truly beyond words, though I will try my best to describe it. In the East they call it a Kundalini Awakening, though other traditions call it The Rainbow Body of Light, The Adam Kadmon, The Perfected Body of Light, or as in the Christian faith - receiving the Christos. Though this experience has been downplayed in modern times, the ancient cultures all seem to know about it and have their own term for it. We should all find the burying of this information curious - to say the least.
As I drifted off in meditation, truly surrendering for the first time - I watched myself leave the earth, watching it get smaller and smaller as I drifted further and further into the aether. At first, it was just the diminishing earth, though I soon realised I was ascending through what could only be described as a kaleidoscope of sacred geometric shapes, spinning, and in all the colours of the rainbow. The shapes spinning faster and faster the further I travelled from the earth. I could feel the knowledge downloading into me from the spinning shapes, though there were no words or pictures, just pure energy - getting more and more intense the higher I travelled. As the shapes spun faster and faster, they began to shift from their original colours and shapes to white, with the spinning action making them spherical. They began spinning so fast, shining so white, downloading so much - that it became uncomfortable, almost painful. It was at this time I realised the light had an accompanying sound which I hadn’t noticed until this time. It was a high-pitched energy sound and it was getting louder and louder as the shapes got whiter and whiter.
Just when I thought I couldn’t take another moment, that so much had been downloaded into me that the light was actually splitting my skin from within - poof - it all went black… No light, no planets, no body, no breath, not even a heartbeat.
Only my consciousness remained.
I was the All. It was all created within my consciousness.
It was at this point I began to laugh, as I realised I was the creator of my reality - and wow, what a shit job I’d done!LOL Then it all shifted 180 degrees and I was no longer the All, but a particle in the All. However, just as each cell in your body contains the full DNA code of everything that is you - as a particle of the All in a holographic universe, you contain within you everything that is the All. Another 180 and I’m the All again, with an even deeper understanding having also been the particle. And it is here, having returned to this density, that I open my eyes and realise I’m still alive in this form.
And yes, my life has changed completely since that day. In the years that have passed, I have experienced this - as well as many other experiences - many, many times over. They are initiations, and we are here to experience them before we move on. To put it more directly: we will not be moving forward without experiencing the initiations. Three days later, I received the following in a meditation, which I have tried to put to paper. This piece came in a download and has not been edited. I literally wrote it while the memory slowly disappeared from my consciousness. It was as if the bottom of the page was on fire and I was writing as fast as possible to capture it all.
The great “I am.”
The singular consciousness which – by awakening – created all the universe conclusive, from beginning to end eternal, and which is expressed through all realisations of life by each singular set of circumstance unique to all dimensions unending. Collectively, they contain every sentient thought that has or will ever occur from Alpha to Omega, beginning to end.
Every consciousness aware of this infinite connection has access to the unlimited through One. The path is not important as all lead to One, with each as individual as its traveller, as it could be no other way. For in the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “There’s nothing capricious in nature, and the implanting of a desire indicates that its gratification is in the constitution of the creature that feels it.”
Consciousness that remains unaware of One will find their journey fraught with indecision and uncertainty no matter their course or privilege, as all paths contain segments of One truth at their core but have been tainted by ego throughout eternity. Each path is like a map coming from a different perspective, yet any of the maps can aid in your return to One. Awareness of One provides a compass to illuminate truth, love, and the highest good – One – from ego, with ego representing reaction based decisions initiated from the reptilian brain and out of our conscious control, without knowledge of its material soul.
Inclusive, we need to embrace all paths as a whole to begin to comprehend our infiniteness, accepting our current duality in:
I’m a bug
on a bug
on a bug
realising, there is no bug
It is in this duality we learn the balance between power and frailty, to find balance and harmony in this delicate fractal we call life, that we learn to love and accept all its differences in all forms of expression, as each traverses the path to awakening One within.
The Great “I Am.”
“I Am One.”
I Am Everything, I Am Nothing.
There Is No I